Well here's my list. I won't be able to make it all public because that could possibly result in a lot of serious consequences. I'm far too young and pretty to go to jail... and always will be. Let me just say, for now, that all the things I have stolen have mainly been from incredibly large faceless organisations. Others, I'll pay them back when I can afford it.
Will I be able to make all these right? Nah, but I'll let you know when and if I do. Don't judge me by this list please; it's all in the past. I'm a really super nice friendly amazing guy now. Hey Jo?
1. Mark (Jughead) Smith. In 1987 I repeately squashed bananas into his pencil case and stole and discarded his school text books. You didn't really deserve that even though you were a total dick.
2. Pommie, Sawry and the other library nerd guy. Those homemade chocolates were laxatives (as you found out). Sorry.
3. Jason (Chuck) Mountney, I graffitied all over your house that 'you sucked' and 'that you were gay'. You and karma already got me back puh-lenty on that one, so let's just call it even eh?
4. The Maroochydore Surf Club 1988. I destroyed the backstage wall in a drunken bid at showing off my muscular power.
5. I regularly stole softdrink and chocolates from my church canteen. Meh... actually you won't be getting that back.
6. I made public something about someone that should never ever have been posted to a public forum. Actually, I achieved bygones on that one, I think.
7. I've recently snuck into two movies without paying.
** - This all actually sounds like bragging doesn't it???
8. I think I bullied my little brother as he was growing up and affected his personality in some way. I also stole his share of the smurfs... dammit.
9. I borrowed my dads new outboard motor and put in the wrong type of petrol (instead of two-stroke). I wrecked it.
Hmm, I'll leave it there for now. Actually I'm finding it hard to think of things that need to be set right but I'm sure more will come to me soon. Until then. Play safe, and chew your food forty times.
5 comments:
Just be grateful you didn't try #5 at my church canteen or you may have keeled over from botulism before you had the chance to not feel bad about stealing. [chocolate bars more than 12 months past expiry, anyone? or perhaps a can of drink which was left in the blazing sun before being refrigerated, then re-heated when some moron turned off the power supply to the canteen to save electricity, then restored to lukewarmness... mmm, vomity]
I'm too cowardly to 'fess up for a list like this, I think the shame would kill me before I got to double digits.
You didn't really deserve that even though you were a total dick.
LOL!!!!! Conditional repentance. I love it.
haha, that's how I ran my canteen too! See, there was 'unity' in that freakin church.
Hey Pete!
Wow! there is so much I don't know about u. u were really mean in school. I like it. Give others the same shit that was dealt to you. Karma, baby.
PLEASE! U have to tell me how u got into the movies without paying! did u pretend u were going to the toilet and then just kept walking? Or did u put a newspaper up to cover ur face from the ticket-tearer and run?
Why do i have to chew my food 40 times? once is enough
I've always wanted to give someone laxatives and see if what happens in the movies really does happen. Did those guys clutch their bottoms, purse their mouths and run for the toilet?
lol. what a crack up!
see ya Pete, Phil
The trick to free cinema is to really know your local theatre. I tattooed my body with the plans much like the guy from Prison Break.
Actually, what I did was sneak into other cinemas 'after' leaving another movie. If you time it right you can see two or three movies for the price of one. It is stealing, but I download movies all the time, so It's not a big step.
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